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Ralphie May Quotes
Ralphie May
Profession : Comedian
Birth : February 17, 1972
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Ralphie May
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I'm not crooked, and I want to help people.
Ralphie May
I'm too blunt, too matter-of-fact and not PC enough.
Ralphie May
I'm too Southern.
Ralphie May
I got kids now... It gives you an empathetic feeling into other cultures and stuff.
Ralphie May
I'm blue collar, which means white trash with a job. But it also means people who take pride in what they do.
Ralphie May
I've got a lot of charisma, plus women are forgiving and they can be charmed.
Ralphie May
Vegas needs a really funny, dirty, late-night show, and I'll tell it like it is, I promise you that. And you gotta love the audience I bring in.
Ralphie May
The day you don't mess with somebody, that would be exclusive rather than inclusive. I strive to be inclusive.
Ralphie May
If we were all sitting around as different races and as different religions, if you were a real friend of these people, you would bust on them all.
Ralphie May
My children are terrific babies.
Ralphie May
I'm a crazy fat guy. And a strange one.
Ralphie May
I'm even handed. I just point out the stupidity we all do.
Ralphie May
The people I make fun of most are white people. They're the dumbest ones. They really are.
Ralphie May
I want more stand-up comics in prime time. It's great for every comedian.
Ralphie May
I work hard, and I make people laugh. What's wrong with that?
Ralphie May
I think there's too much emphasis on making sure our corporations are OK versus making sure our people are OK.
Ralphie May
I think we can do better with our politicians. I think I'd make a good one, because I like people.
Ralphie May
I don't just live in a bubble in Los Angeles. I'm on the road all the time. I say hello to people everywhere. That way, you get to see what despair is around the holidays. People are making terrible choices: Do I have heat in the winter or food on the table? Decisions between filling the gas tank or buying a gift for a kid.
Ralphie May
There's certain stock lines that, you know, like heckler lines, you know, like, where did you learn to whisper, a helicopter, you know? Nobody owns those. I mean, someone first wrote it but it's been so universally used that it's common and it's called stock.
Ralphie May
I mean, comics fear sue - you know, lawsuits and stuff like that, just because they don't like to do paperwork.
Ralphie May
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