Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

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Rodney Dangerfield

Profession : Comedian

Birth : November 22, 1921

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

Rodney Dangerfield

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

Rodney Dangerfield

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

Rodney Dangerfield

Life is just a bowl of pits.

Rodney Dangerfield

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Rodney Dangerfield

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

Rodney Dangerfield

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

Rodney Dangerfield

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

Rodney Dangerfield

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.

Rodney Dangerfield