Woody Allen Quotes

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Woody Allen

Profession : Director

Birth : December 1, 1935

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Woody Allen

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.

Woody Allen

I am two with nature.

Woody Allen

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Woody Allen

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Woody Allen

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Woody Allen

Marriage is the death of hope.

Woody Allen

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Woody Allen

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Woody Allen

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Woody Allen

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .

Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Woody Allen