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Woody Allen Quotes
Woody Allen
Profession : Director
Birth : December 1, 1935
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Woody Allen
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
Woody Allen
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Woody Allen
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Woody Allen
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Woody Allen
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Woody Allen
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Woody Allen
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
Woody Allen
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Woody Allen
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
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