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Woody Allen Quotes
Woody Allen
Profession : Director
Birth : December 1, 1935
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Woody Allen
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Woody Allen
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody Allen
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Woody Allen
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Woody Allen
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
Woody Allen
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody Allen
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Woody Allen
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Woody Allen
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Woody Allen
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
Woody Allen
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Woody Allen
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
Woody Allen
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Woody Allen
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
Woody Allen
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
Woody Allen
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen
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