Quotes for Funny

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Jim Carrey

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Albert Einstein

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Groucho Marx

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

In general, the straight line of a joke sets up a premise, an expectation. Then the funny ending - the punch line - in a sense contradicts the original assumption by refusing to follow what had seemed a reasonable train of thought. Many jokes involve that simple matter of leaping outside what had appeared to be the rules of the game at the moment.

Steve Allen

Ironing boards are a classic example of something I find horrible about modern society: the excitementation, for want of a better word, of mundane things. Funny ironing board covers - I hate them.

Daniel Radcliffe

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

Les Dawson

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Mark Twain

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity.

Vladimir Nabokov

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

Bob Hope

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Isaac Asimov

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

Will Rogers

It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.

Gertrude Stein

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

W. H. Auden

I was born to be funny.

Buddy Hackett

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

George Orwell

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

Bill Hicks

What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.

Steven Wright

I don't say things to be offensive; I say things because they're funny to me. It amuses me.

Marilyn Manson