Quotes for Funny

I never said most of the things I said.

Yogi Berra

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Mae West

Life is hard. After all, it kills you.

Katharine Hepburn

Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.

Thor Heyerdahl

It's funny how things change slowly, until the day we realize they've changed completely.

Nancy Gibbs

I never looked at myself as the fat sister. Sometimes I would beat people to the punch and say, 'Oh I'm the fat, funny one,' because that's what people would say about me. But I never really thought that.

Khloe Kardashian

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

Mae West

Trying to be funny is arguably the least funny thing you can do.

Romesh Ranganathan

It's really funny - when I'm depressed or I'm having a hard time, I'll write really fun stuff. And then when I'm really happy, I write really depressing stuff.

Kathleen Hanna

I wasn't interested in football. It made me different. I wore glasses, had bad hair, a funny name, you name it.

Rupert Friend

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Don Marquis

A word to the wise is infuriating.

Hunter S. Thompson

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

Mae West

Never floss with a stranger.

Joan Rivers

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Joan Rivers

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

Paula Poundstone

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

Lucille Ball

I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it.

Audrey Hepburn

I'm not funny. What I am is brave.

Lucille Ball

When it comes down to it, glam rock was all very amusing. At the time, it was funny, then a few years later it became sort of serious-looking and a bit foreboding.

David Bowie