Quotes for Funny

I think that I identify with Philadelphia for a lot of reasons. Without even thinking about it, I called myself 'Philly's Constant Hitmaker' when I first got a MySpace, before I had any real hits. It was kind of just a funny slogan, basically lifted from the Rolling Stones' first album, 'England's Newest Hit Makers.'

Kurt Vile

You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.

Rush Limbaugh

Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape.

Milton Berle

What I like best is a book that's at least funny once in a while. What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.

J. D. Salinger

The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We've all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we've all got problems. When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that's a gift - to you and your audience.

Kevin Hart

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

Laurence J. Peter

I like children - fried.

W. C. Fields

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Erma Bombeck

The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes.

William Feather

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

Will Rogers

I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not.

Joe Biden

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Peter Ustinov

I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.

Steven Wright

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!

Mitch Hedberg

When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.

Steven Wright

I listened to this interview once with Jerry Seinfeld that really influenced my comedy and all of my writing, which is that when you're starting out in comedy, it's the audience that tells you what's funny about you. And you need to listen to that and make a note of that.

Mike Birbiglia

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Robin Williams

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

Douglas Adams

Censorship no longer works by hiding information from you; censorship works by flooding you with immense amounts of misinformation, of irrelevant information, of funny cat videos, until you're just unable to focus.

Yuval Noah Harari

Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.

Jerry Seinfeld